M. Thomas Cooper

CHARACTERS

Brad, Clark, and Twila: They are college aged roommates.

(The stage is bare, empty. Twila stands in a corner with a bucket on her head. Brad is spinning incessantly around and around.)

                                                            TWILA

Once, in Paraguay, I was offered the eyes and testicles of a freshly slaughtered goat.

(Brad stops spinning.)

It was a sign of honor and respect—I had to eat them.

                                                            BRAD

Bucket!

                                                            CLARK [off]

What?

                                                            BRAD

BUCKET!

                                                (Clark enters with a bucket.)

                                                            TWILA

The eyes burst in my mouth like ripe grapes, while the testicles were salty, pungent, with a tart hint of… pubic hair.

(Brad vomits into the bucket. Brad returns to spinning. Clark begins to exit, hesitates, stops, watches.)

In Singapore, a restaurant serves something called Onga bu Urra, pickled pig fetus...

                                                (Brad stops spinning.)

…in a greasy broth of curried yak blood.

                                                (Brad vomits into the bucket. Brad begins spinning again.)

                                                            TWILA

In the Szechuan province of China there is a local delicacy of duck tongue….

                                                (Brad stops spinning.)

…boiled in urine from a pregnant cat.

                                                (Brad vomits into the bucket. Brad begins spinning again.)

                                                            CLARK

What… what are you two doing?

                                                            TWILA

We’re creating “death memories.”

                                                            CLARK

Of course you are. I suppose that also explains why, Twila, you have a bucket on your head?

                                                            TWILA

It does—yes.

                                                            CLARK

How much have you had to drink?

                                                            BRAD

Nothing.

                                                            TWILA

Stone, cold sober.

                                                            CLARK

Other… more curious substances? Coke-crack-pot-acid-shrooms-Xanax-Ecstasy–heroin-Ritalin?

                                                            TWILA

Nothing.

                                                            BRAD

Stone, cold sober.

                                                            CLARK

Okay, now I’m really concerned. What the hell is gong on?

                                                            BRAD

Like Twila said, “we’re creating death memories.”

                                                            CLARK

I may ask for a breath test or a blood sample, unless… UNLESS you start making sense. What the hell is a “death memory”?

                                                            TWILA

You’ve heard about the theory of your life flashing before your eyes when you die?

                                                            CLARK                                                          

Well, yes, actually, I have.

                                                            BRAD

So, we were thinking… maybe you can make your death last as long as your life.